As mothers we are biologically programmed to take care of the needs of everyone in the family. But we need to make space for taking good care of ourselves too. This starts with assuring our basic needs are met everyday.
Technology enables moms to multitask more easily but more is expected of modern parents. Even in households espousing gender equality, women tend to take on more of the childcare and household responsibilities, as well as the corresponding mental load. Dads can ease this burden by taking more initiative and following through.
Motherhood is often not what we understood or imagined it would be based upon our observations of our own mothers. While growing up, we often failed to see the behind the scenes work and effort that we now experience first hand.
Sometimes new or expectant mothers see media coverage of tragic loss in the postpartum and become concerned about “getting” postpartum depression. It’s important to talk to your providers and learn about local community resources for postpartum women.
When you first separate, and you or soon-to-be Ex files for divorce, it can seem like things are moving very quickly. But it can take a year or more for your case to wind its way through the court system. Without ongoing support, you may become frustrated and start to believe “the Judge should decide.”
Triangulation occurs whenever a third person intervenes or is drawn into a conflict between two individuals. The third person may become part of the situation unwittingly, may make a conscious choice to intervene, or may be drawn in skillfully by one of the two people who had the original disagreement.
Our societal image of motherhood as blissful and brimming with joyful moments puts unnecessary pressure on new mothers. If you take a step back and really look at the postpartum, it is possible to see that the concept of perfect mothering is simply ludicrous on its face. Every step of motherhood is a lesson in on the job training.
For many new mothers, the excitement of the birth is overshadowed by a sense of loss in the postpartum. Some mothers miss being pregnant. Others feel the loss of certain aspects of their life before the baby including the ability to focus on career, the capacity to meet up spontaneously with friends and the intimacy in their relationships.
