With even the best of intentions, it can be difficult to be a good co-parent under the uncertain conditions that we all are facing during the COVID 10 pandemic. One staple of life as a co-parent that continues is the exchange of the children pursuant to the parenting time schedule. Certainly, many exchanges have been disrupted by actual, suspected or feared illness. However, under the watchful eye of the Court, many co-parents have continued to follow the parenting time schedules in their agreements and Court Orders.
As winter approaches, anxiety is rising about the recently rising case numbers and potential for future surges in the numbers of new diagnoses of COVID concurrent with our regular flu season. Co-parents may be left wondering how they can best minimize risk to themselves and their children in their respective homes even though agreements and Court Orders require them to keep the boundaries to their homes somewhat open. With a view towards helping to reduce these concerns a, here are a few tips to help make child custody exchanges go more smoothly during the COVID 19 pandemic:
· Revisit your Agreement or Court Order to refamiliarize yourself with the contents of any provision that specifies a protocol in the event of emergency or illness for the children or the co-parents. At first glance, these provisions may not seem directly applicable in the event of a coronavirus exposure or a child/parent presenting with coronavirus symptoms. However, any provision along these lines can operate as a starting point for a conversation regarding what protocol the co-parents should follow with respect to COVID 19.
· In the event that stay-at-home orders are implemented again, familiarize yourself with any provisions in these emergency orders that pertain to child custody exchanges in order to be certain that decisions and behaviors under these orders are lawful.
· Attempt to reach agreements with your co-parent regarding expectations that each co-parent may have for the other with regard to activities outside each parent’s home, mask wearing, social distancing and risk assessment. Not uncommonly, one parent may be more inclined to take risks, so a particular willingness to consider the perspective of the other co-parent under these unprecedented circumstances will likely be necessary.
· Attempt to reach agreement with your co-parent concerning the individuals who will be included in the co-parenting “bubble,” ie. who will have contact with the children when they are with each co-parent. Under normal circumstances, the children may have contact with individuals other than the co-parent without the other co-parent necessarily having any knowledge. However, due to exposure concerns with COVID 19, we are presented with a unique time in which disclosure of the names of the individuals with whom the children have contact during the other co-parent’s time may be necessary to protect the health, safety and welfare of the children.
· Attempt to reach some agreement with your co-parent concerning whether testing will be required of everyone in the co-parenting “bubble” if: 1) someone in the “bubble” tests positive for COVID 19, or 2) someone in the “bubble” has had direct contact with a third-party outside the bubble who tests positive for COVID 19.
· Attempt to reach agreement with your co-parent regarding how the children’s education will proceed, including how any supplies or equipment that are needed will be transferred from one co-parent’s home to the other during the exchanges.
· Agree to modify the exchange location to a neutral setting if there is a period of disagreement or other strife in order to assure safety for both the co-parents and the children.
· Attempt to follow the designated time for the exchanges despite the flexibility and freedom from structure which now defines our “new normal” during the pandemic.
· Clean and disinfect (within reason) items that are transferred from one co-parent’s home to the other after each exchange, including washing all clothing.