After significant discussion, debate, and planning, the Fall 2020 semester is upon us. You may count yourself among the many college students who are staying back home because your school either offered a remote option for your courses that you chose or has gone entirely remote for Fall 2020. Your feelings about this continuing experience of family togetherness may range from frustration to relief.
Alternatively, you may fall into that other group of college students who took the plunge and arrived on campus in the past few weeks. If this is you, mostly likely you are participating, or have participated, in some sort of testing procedure in order to have this privilege. Maybe you have had to quarantine as well, pending test results or due to a general requirement upon arrival in your new location.
No matter your class year, quite likely your college experience is not looking at all like you expected it would. The dining hall is grab and go. There are no frat parties. Hell, there are no parties at all (at least not out in the open). You can’t gather in large groups. You have to deal with health checks, continued testing, and contract tracing. Your school may be changing the format of your courses on a daily basis, tweaking things still at the eleventh hour in response to case rate numbers. Let’s be real: it’s a lot on top of the intense experience that college is known for.
But even with all this swirling around you, you may notice that you are still so alone.
It may be hard to accept at first. How could this be. I mean, you’re at college. That all too familiar loneliness that plagued you back at home, how could have followed you here. Quite possibly you assumed it had to be better at school. But, while it’s more complicated, and you may see a few more people in passing, it’s still really lonely.
Learning how to cope with the aloneness of adulthood is a normal part of college life. Even before the pandemic struck, a survey showed that 64% of college students reported feeling extremely lonely in the past year (Danzman, 2020). Some of the reasons for this typical college loneliness include: difficulty making and keeping friends, differences in social norms between home and school environments, the pressure to rush or be left out of Greek life, and social media portrayals that everyone else is socially connected. The reality is that sometimes it’s just dumb luck that leads you to a group of like-minded peers. Other times, it’s a process to get the social part of college on track.B
But flash forward to Fall 2020. How is that even supposed to happen. Now, instead of social opportunities awaiting you outside your door if you’d only take the chance, there’s zoom club meetings and limited dining hall seating with plexiglass dividers. How, in the world, are students looking to make new social connections supposed to actually achieve this? After weeks and months of social distancing and sheltering in place, we’re all a bit rusty in the social department. Just being around other people again takes energy. As lonely as you feel, it’s easier to lay on your bed and watch Netflix than tune into an orientation bingo session.
If all of this is sounding a bit familiar, whether you’re reading this in the dim light of your bedroom at home or at school, it’s important to make that effort to connect with someone – anyone. To not just sink into a deeper pit of loneliness that can lead to depression, substance abuse, self-harm – or even, if you let it get really bad, suicide. Reach out. Get help. Act.
Danzman, R (2020). Why are college students feeling so lonely. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/campus-crunch/202002/why-are-college-students-feeling-so-lonely (Retrieved August 30, 2020).